Chimneys At Christmastime
by Jenulus
Summary: Originially written for the Christmas Moon Fic Advent at metamorficmoon, this is my entry. My prompt was Chimney.


Notes: Originally written for the Christmas Moon Fic Advent over at metamorficmoon on livejournal (an _outstanding_ Remus/Tonks community, btw) I've updated the story a bit due to some really great constructive criticism. I hope you like it! It won an award for Best Newcomer in the Advent.

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Nymphadora Tonks was in the chimney.

Not on the chimney, or near the chimney, or looking at the chimney. She was _inside_ the chimney.

This was particularly unfortunate since Remus, who had no clue that Tonks was currently holding herself in the air by two pieces of brick more than two-thirds of the way up the inside of the parlor's flue, had just lit a fire.

She pulled her feet up and braced them against the inside of the chimney, while she maneuvered her wand out of her back pocket. This meant her back was now pressed fully against the rough brick, her knees pressed against her chest, and she managed to scrape her elbow in her haste, but she was able to extinguish the fire with a non-verbal spell.

Tonks heard Lupin grumble slightly from what she presumed was the settee (it was, after all, almost three in the afternoon which in Lupin World meant "Time to Sit on the Settee and Read a Large Book") before he cast another fire charm into the grate.

Frustrated and sore from the sharpest piece of brick she had ever encountered being jammed against her ribcage, Tonks quickly cast a quiet _Aquamenti_ spell at the fire.

"What on earth?" she heard Remus say in response to the sudden downpour of water inside the fireplace on what was an unnaturally clear-skied day for December in London, followed by the muted sounds of him standing and walking over to the fireplace. She looked down towards the grate (angling her head down caused her back to slip downwards a few centimeters) and saw the shadow of his feet appear. After a moment, she saw his body begin to shift as he knelt down. Soon, his head came into view, looking directly up at her.

"Tonks?" he asked, clearly confused.

"SHHH! Not so loud, for cripes' sake!"

Remus lowered his voice to a whisper. "Is there any particular reason you've stuffed yourself inside the chimney?"

She racked her brain for a reason. "Would you believe me if I said I was hiding your present up here?"

"Since I found it this morning under Buckbeak's pillow, no, I wouldn't."

"Ah," Tonks said. After a brief silence and slipping another few centimeters, she continued. "Did you open it?"

"Are we going to have this entire conversation while you are in the chimney?"

"Perhaps," she whispered down forcefully.

She wasn't really angry with Remus, even though it sounded like it, even to her own ears. It was very frustrating to be caught inside a chimney by one's new boyfriend (_two months, tomorrow!_ her heart sang) when all she really wanted to be doing was sitting with him, alone, doing nothing but listening as he read aloud or talked about his day or just breathed, slow and steady. She was instead stuffed awkwardly inside the flue, dirty, cramped, and increasingly irritable. It occurred to her as she glanced down at him again that Remus was kneeling in a puddle of water that must have been quickly soaking through the knees of his trousers. She could see him shiver slightly; she felt her irritation dissipate and a small amount of guilt set in for having made the water extra cold in her exasperation. But before she could apologize, she heard what sounded like people talking in the hallway. The sight of Remus now looking towards the doorway confirmed her suspicions. "Go! GO! Sit down!!" Tonks whispered harshly. "I'm not here! You haven't seen me all day!"

A flicker of realization crossed Remus' face, and Tonks breathed a sigh of relief. He stood quickly, cast a drying charm on the floor and his trousers and quickly reseated himself on the settee.

Tonks heard the twins burst into the room just as Remus turned a page she knew he hadn't actually read. "Oi! Professor Lupin! Have you seen Tonks?"

"Not today. She's supposed to be here for Christmas Eve, though," Remus said. Tonks marveled at the quickness of his lie. They hadn't discussed her Christmas plans at all.

"Oh, she's definitely here somewhere," Tonks heard Fred say. "Just look at George!"

Tonks voluntarily pressed her ribs back against the sharp brick to stifle her laughter at the mental image of George covered head-to-toe in holly. It was at that moment that she heard a popping sound, and knew that the silver tinsel had finally burst out of Fred's ears. She really had to thank Moody for teaching her how to delay a charm. Brilliant, really, even if it probably wasn't _exactly_ why he had taught it to her.

"Festive, indeed," Remus answered, nearly sending Tonks into a peal of laughter, hiding be damned.

"If you see her, _don't_ tell her we're looking for her," Fred growled.

"Never," Remus agreed solemnly. Tonks heard the muffled sounds of the twins leaving, and Remus' voice as he cast an Imperturbable charm on the door. Soon, his face reappeared in the grate, his neck craning to look up at her. "Safe to come out, I believe."

"Funny thing, that. I'm not quite sure how to get down now," Tonks replied. Her back had continued to slip down a few centimeters or so every few moments, and now her feet were actually higher than her head on the opposite wall, her arse hanging down in the middle of the flue. "Any ideas?"

"Not a single one," Remus replied, smirking. "That space isn't big enough for two."

"This could get interesting," she said. She pushed her weight onto her left leg and arched her back, shifting her weight back onto her shoulders. She then moved her right leg higher onto the wall. She really only succeeded in scratching her back.

"Are you sure you want--" Remus started, but stopped when she cast him a glare.

"If you're not going to _help_ me get down, then you don't get to comment on how I go about it," Tonks warned.

"Fair enough."

The sharp brick that had previously been jammed in her ribcage was now just a bit out of her reach. She arched her back again and moved her feet slightly lower again before pushing up on them and stretching for the small ledge the brick created. She couldn't help but think it seemed much larger when it was attempting to pierce her side; even so it was her only hope. On her third try, her fingers stretched just far enough to grab hold. Now, she was dangling by three fingers from the tiniest sliver of jagged brick she had ever come across. It was still much too far down to jump, especially in such a tight space.  
Looking down, she caught Remus grinning at her while lying on his back with his full torso inside the fireplace. "Now what?" he asked.

"No clue," she replied but she knew she'd have to do something soon as her fingers were already starting to ache. Spying another tiny sliver sticking out from the other side of the chimney about a meter below where her feet were currently dangling, Tonks decided to go for it. She'd never been very patient, and she was starting to become embarrassed, especially with Remus watching her predicament. She used her knees and one free hand to push against the brick as she let go of the brick above her, hoping against all hope that she might somehow land gracefully on the minuscule ledge below.

She didn't.

But she did somehow manage to catch the ledge with her hand on her way down, which left her feet hanging mere centimeters from Remus' face.

"Well now, I guess I should thank you for not landing on me," he quipped.

"You'll move right quick if you'd rather keep it that way," she replied. "I can't hold on much longer."

Remus scrambled to his feet, now standing completely inside the fireplace. He reached up, hugged her around the waist and gently set her down on her feet.

She noticed that there was no extra room to move away from each other, not that she wanted to be anywhere other than where she was at the moment. It may not have been as pleasant as sitting on the settee listening to him intently, but it was infinitely better to have his arms carefully wrapped around her waist than to have him laying in soot while she nearly plunged to her death as he watched. When he didn't remove his arms, Tonks couldn't resist brushing the traces of ash off of his shoulders. He smiled at her. "I doubt you'd be worried about my jumper if you could see the state of your hair," he said.

"Thank you for not giving me away," she said softly. "I think Fred's likely to hex me whenever he sees me next."

"I could never give you up," Remus said with a soft chuckle. "Though I think I may be a traitor to my sex for helping you hide. But I'd have been a traitor to all things Marauder if I had, so you can see that it was quite a difficult decision, really."

"Undeniably, a difficult decision. The holly is probably a little mean, considering what they're going through with Arthur in the hospital and all, but they shouldn't have made that insinuation about my name," Tonks said. "And they _definitely_ shouldn't have underestimated me."

"May I ask about your inspiration?"

Without preamble Tonks began singing, _"Deck the twins with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la--"_

Remus chuckled and continued the verse in a deep, rumbling tone, _"'Tis the way to piss off Molly, fa-la-la-la--"_

There was no mistletoe, no twinkle lights, no snow falling softly while they walked down a lane holding hands. There was just soot on his jumper and in her hair and most definitely on their faces but she just couldn't help herself; it was Remus, and he was being so _Remus_, and they were standing inches apart with no one around when they hadn't been alone in days. She threw herself at him, mid-song.

She chose not to think of the big, Imperturbabled room just on the other side of the blackened brick where there were couches and floors and plenty of space to do plenty of snogging in, because on this side, in the fireplace, there were arms and lips and faces and hearts and she was much more interested in those things. Lips met lips, one set warm and willing while the other was caught-off guard but no less agreeable, and she thread her fingers into the graying hair at his temple by way of his cheek. When she felt his right hand clutch at her jumper at the small of her back, Tonks knew he didn't mind too much that she had interrupted.

When they pulled away from each other, Remus just hummed happily and grinned down at Tonks.

"You never answered my question, by the way. Did you open the present you found?"

"Would I do such a thing?"

"Did you like it?" Tonks asked, looking at her feet before glancing coyly at him.

Remus attempted to look disgruntled but quickly lost the battle with his grin. "I've never loved a present more," he replied, tightening his arms around her slightly.

"I'm relieved. I sure hope Sirius likes it too," she said with a wink.

"_Nymph_—" Remus started with a playful reproach in his eyes before Tonks stopped him with her hand across his mouth.

"Learn from your students, Professor. And just so you know, I charmed all the tags on all of the presents to have your name on them when you find them."


End file.
